Couples Therapy

Conversations are creating conflict.

It’s painful enough to have to admit your relationship is in trouble.

Every conversation with your partner as of late has been emotionally charged, ending in more confusion, fear, and sadness.

They come at you angrily and upset while attempting to extract answers about something that happened years ago. And you shut down, get overwhelmed, with no other recourse than to defend or explode.

You didn’t come here to be blamed.

Your partner no longer has an accurate view of who you are, and you don’t see them the same either.

So many layers of protection have been built up that it’s hard even to know how you feel.

The last thing you want is to reach out for help and be blamed for something that is the source of so much pain.

It’s all about the dynamic, not the details.

The issue is not that you or your partner are failing at making this work.

And it does no good to stay stuck in the details about what happened during an argument, just so you both can become more invested in your position.

The issue is that you both are stuck in an endless dynamic, an infinity loop, that keeps you both stuck and frozen, destined to repeat the same arguments with the same traumatic outcome.

If your current dynamic is one that makes you feel isolated, shut out, and overwhelmed; then a new, stronger dynamic will make you feel grounded, safe, and connected.

If you change the dynamic, you change the relationship forever.

Be on the same team and stop being an adversary.

This is the formula…

By getting you both to join as a team toward a common goal of creating a new dynamic that works, we eliminate the need to blame the other.

And this deals with the fear of what prevents most couples from coming to therapy. The fear that you will be targeted and made to blame for the state of the relationship is holding you back.

Time to establish a new dynamic, one without conflict and blame.

Because I use an effective and sustainable method grounded in Emotionally Focused Therapy, I will emphasize how each of you can work as a team to heal your pain through the relationship.

We will identify the dynamic that no longer works, understand the causes that led to its creation, form better ways of communicating your needs, and create a new dynamic that makes you feel more calm and connected.

You can have a better relationship than you had before, and it starts now; call me at (818) 450-6844.